When you were little did not care who you were, if you were taller or shorter than your friends, if you were more intelligent or less if you were more clever or not, but enjoyed it all, sharing everything, you were leaving or helping others help without criticism, without censoring, as something natural. When you were a 2 or 3 years, competing with your mates but no matter if were winning or losing, that's the end little affected, they lived in the moment and already, the result was a temporary boost and nothing more, sometimes got lost and others were earning, in some games were better than your friends and others were not so good, but never mind. You said you thought you were saying or sometimes even just what you wanted, without worrying about that others approve or not what you said and regardless fools who thought something different, just listened and learned naturally, accepting what you served and were leaving to spend what is not.
But one day you learned to nurture, but not for yourself, but compared with others, we call that self-esteem, only then started to worry and suffer, to judge your friends, to criticize their results and try to see the yours, as above. I learned to make judgments to be competitive, you're better, you're worse, they were on, the phrase most commonly heard, and suffering was growing bigger, fear took hold of your actions, learn to say things smart, to show results that others expect of you, it won acceptance with, sometimes against your values, your feelings, what they really thought. You learned that if they fail the approval of others you feel refused, and suffered, but in fact the others that cared little, but needed to be popular, not rejected.
As a defender you learn to do the right thing, to be good, be comfortable, to be what others want you to be, to say only what others want to hear, to reduce the refusal to suffer less, in that sense they called self-esteem, not esteems you if you let it hurt you if you do the right thing and not hurt you accept and esteem you more. But when you act against your true feelings, but others will accept you no, do not esteem and suffer, others not reject you, but you if you do, and that reduces your self-esteem, then it's worth the effort?.
If you live an authentic life if you accept that you are an exceptional and unique individual with special skills for some things and less for others, but you can use to your advantage all you have, you can say what you think, without causing damage to others who can do what you want, without affecting other, you can dream and achieve your dreams, that the goal is the end but it really is the way we live, then it will be so happy as when you were a kid and your actions and words will be thrown darts at each other, while they in turn will no longer defend themselves, then you will realize that they will not attack you, just trying to save responded.
Your actions and your thoughts are not far from realization. If you think you can or you think you can not, you're probably right, but like to know?, Maybe if you try it you realize that your fears were just fears, they disappear when you try actions, no matter if they are successful or not, when you move, perform actions when the fear is only one ingredient, acts as an advisor, if you do not move in his favor to your fears, fear is your jailer.
Live every day as if it were the last of your life, if anything ever will be, but you do not know when. If you decide to live for all you have planned, then life will have been worthwhile, whether you hit or not, in any case you will have learned, improve your sense of worth, I think more and be able to start new things, leave behind the fear and inactivity, you stop worrying about the future, since you are so busy living the present do not have time, you will planned and realized through continuing actions of the past you only have good memories and one day will have improved your future because you've lived so well in mind that what is now called the future will be better than you expected and you filled with satisfaction, of achievement and rewarding feelings.